Pride Month is an important time of year when LGBTQ+ people of all stripes come together to engage in resistance, reflection, and celebration. While many people associate Pride with festivals, parties, and other community-building events, it’s also an opportunity to reconnect with yourself and take the next step in your own personal journey toward sexual liberation.
To that end, show yourself a little self-love this Pride Month by taking control of your sexual health and pleasure. In this article, we’ll explore a series of practical, inclusive tips to help you stay safe and satisfied all month long—and beyond.
Own Your Sexuality
For many LGBTQ+ people, understanding and coming to terms with one’s sexuality is a multi-year (and sometimes lifelong) journey. Living in a world that often stigmatises any orientation other than heterosexuality, it’s easy for LGBTQ+ people to feel a sense of internalised shame and to struggle with finding acceptance from others—and oneself.
Pride Month is a reminder that you are not alone and that your sexuality, whatever it might be, is valid. However, finding self-acceptance is easier said than done.
If this is something you’re working on, start by recognising that sexual identity exploration is something that you need to do at your own pace. It might take some time to figure out, and it’s OK to try on different identities along the way. Also, keep in mind that sexuality is fluid for many people, which can sometimes add a layer of confusion to the process. Not everyone fits into a neat little box.
Speaking of boxes, don’t feel pressure to put yourself in one. People often think that there’s a “right” way to be gay, bi, asexual, or queer, but there isn’t. Your sexuality is unique to you, and it’s multi-layered. For example, in addition to the sex/gender of the people you’re attracted to, you can be kinky or vanilla, monogamous or polyamorous, and so forth—and these can all be combined in any number of ways.
If you’re struggling to find self-acceptance, seek out resources and support. For example, take advantage of all that Pride Month has to offer by engaging with your community and finding a support network. Read one of the books mentioned at the end of this post written by LGBTQ+ authors who have navigated their own journeys of self-discovery. And if it all feels like too much, don’t be afraid to look for help from an LGBTQ-affirming therapist. There’s no shame in seeking therapy.
Protect Your Sexual Health
Sexual health is one of the cornerstones of our overall well-being, so it’s important to take steps to protect it. However, there is no one-size-fits-all advice here because the LGBTQ+ community is diverse, and so are its sexual practices. What matters most is making informed decisions that are right for you and your body and that are consistent with your own personal risk tolerance. The answer here is to figure out what you need to do in order to feel safe so that you can fully enjoy sex and be open to pleasure. Remember that protection and pleasure are not mutually exclusive. For many people, feeling safe is the precursor to feeling ecstasy.
Safer-Sex Consideration
- Know your status. If you’re sexually active, get tested for STIs regularly (for LGBTQ+ people, it’s usually recommended every 3-6 months, especially for men who have sex with men). Regular testing ensures that you are in control of your sexual health and have the information you need to communicate effectively with your partners. You can get tested by going to your regular doctor, but if you have an LGBTQ+ centre in your local area, you may be able to find free or low-cost testing there.
- To maximise protection against STIs, use barriers during sexual activity, such as condoms, dental dams, or gloves, as appropriate for the activities you’re engaging in. Also, if sharing sex toys with partners, putting condoms on dildos and strap-ons may help to prevent passing infections between partners (while also making them easier to clean!).
- Communicate your boundaries. People often leap into bed without first discussing what they are and aren’t comfortable with sexually, which is a recipe for unintentional boundary violations. Whether you’re kinky or vanilla, an honest conversation about your limits can help to put your mind at ease, build trust, and ensure things stick within your comfort zone. A simple way to start the conversation is with four simple words: “What are you into?”
Maximise Your Pleasure. After All, You Deserve It!
Pleasure is core to our well-being. But, all too often, we aren’t getting the pleasure that we want in our sex lives. For LGBTQ+ people, this is often because their sex education failed them—it didn’t teach them what they needed to know about sexual communication or about how to have pleasurable sex. The result is that porn has become the default form of sex ed for many LGBTQ+ folks. However, porn is entertainment, not education.
The path to pleasure therefore starts by dropping the porn scripts and recognizing that what you’re seeing on screen isn’t a how-to guide for queer sex. What feels good for you and works for your body might look very different.
Start with solo play to see what kinds of sensations you like and enjoy. Masturbation can be a great way to explore your body, uncover your turn-ons, and try out new things. In order to communicate what we want, we first need to know what we want.
Next, communicate about your boundaries and desires so that your partner knows what you want. Don’t assume that they’ll guess correctly! Again, however, sexual communication is another one of those things that’s easier said than done. The simple “What are you into?” question mentioned above can be a great way to get the conversation started. Also, if you find it hard to verbalize what you want, you might communicate about it via text (or sext) instead. Sometimes, people find it easier to type difficult things out rather than to say them in person, so feel free to leverage technology if it helps.
Also, don’t forget the lube! Lube can make almost any kind of sex better, whether it’s oral, vaginal, anal, mutual masturbation, or using toys. However, this is another one of those areas where porn can lead us astray because we rarely see the generous application (and reapplication) of lube on screen. Lube is your friend when it comes to reducing friction, enhancing sensation, preventing pain, and more.
Lastly, recognize that queer sex is like a choose-your-own-adventure novel. It’s not supposed to be bound by societal pressures or expectations. For example, sex doesn’t have to be all about penetration. In fact, you might not enjoy penetration at all—and that’s perfectly fine! Research finds that the way LGBTQ+ people define sex is more expansive than it is for heterosexual persons. In other words, there are more options on the menu, which creates more opportunities and pathways to pleasure.
Takeaways
LGBTQ+ people have long been denied the right to their own pleasure. Taking control of your sexual health and wellbeing, then, isn’t just an act of self-love—it’s also an act of defiance.
No matter how you’re celebrating Pride this month, remember that your pleasure and safety matter. Learn to love yourself, take the precautions you need in order to feel safe during moments of intimacy, and go on a journey of sexual self-exploration.
Recommended Further Reading
Corwin, G. (2010). Sexual Intimacy for Women: A Guide for Same-Sex Couples.
Cusack, M. (2025). Fluid: A Guide for People with Flexible Sexuality.
Goldstein, E. (2024). Butt Seriously.
Roche, J. (2018). Queer Sex: A Trans and Non-Binary Guide to Intimacy, Pleasure, and Relationships.
Silverstien, C. & Picano, F. (2006). The Joy of Gay Sex.
Van Ness, J. (2019). Over the Top: A Raw Journey to Self-Love.