Trust, hitting these spots can be better than sex.
Foreplay is like an appetizer to the main course. Sure, your medium-rare filet mignon will taste okay alone. But wouldn’t it be even better if you started off your taste buds with a bread basket, Caesar salad, and some prosciutto? That’s an absolute yes.
And well, sex works just like food does. Appetizers don’t take away your hunger, they enhance it—as does foreplay with actual P-in-V sex. Sometimes, it can even be better than the sex itself. So when things are getting hot with your partner, don’t skip right to the sex. Here are 15 places to definitely stimulate during foreplay to make the grand finale taste extra yummy.
Inner bicep and tricep area
I don’t know about you, but I giggle every time someone touches me here. And if some area makes you ticklish, that’s almost a surefire guarantee it can be a hot spot on your body when you’re in the ~mood~.
Not only is it super sensitive, which can be extremely erotic, but it’s also an easy pleasure point to stimulate. “Make circular motions with your tongue lightly enough to stimulate the area,” says Danny Becker, sexologist at TheEnhancedMale.com. “The skin gets thinner when you get closer to the inner elbow, so use that area to drive your partner wild.” And psst, the lighter the pressure, the better it feels.
Around the eyes
Besides the normal parts of your body most often sexualised as erogenous zones, the area around your peepers can be just as sensual and sexual. “Use your thumbs to gently stroke their brows and place gentle kisses on their lids,” says Jill McDevitt, PhD, CalExotics’ resident sexoloist. “There’s a ton of intimacy that can come from deep eye contact and gentle face-stroking like this.”
“The clavicle and the grooves below it can be highly responsive to light touch,” says Jess O’Reilly, PhD, Astroglide’s resident sexologist. Although it’s a random part on your body, your partner can use it to stimulate you in ways you didn’t know existed. “Run the backs of your fingers over the bone and use your tongue along the underside of them,” says O’Reilly.
Full disclosure: You need to check in with your partner to make sure they’re okay with any foot/toe play before you go shrimpin’ since you low-key might get kicked in the face if you don’t. But once you get the go-ahead, “licking or sucking them can be extremely erotic because toes are very sensitive,” says sex expert and relationship therapist Jane Greer.
Xanet Pailet, author of Living an Orgasmic Life, says the ears and earlobes are extremely sensitive for many people. “Nibbling on the earlobes, licking behind their ear, and blowing gently in someone’s ear or telling them sexy things can be a huge turn-on.” She adds that there are even some women (herself included) who can have eargasms just from this sort of stimulation.
Pailet also points out that the scalp has a ton of nerve endings and should definitely be on your list of ~sensitive spots~. After all, who doesn’t love a good head massage? She suggests running your hands through their hair or lightly grabbing their hair at the nape of their neck.
Back of the neck and shoulders
Continuing down from the scalp to the nape of the neck brings us to the back of the neck and shoulders. Pailet says that lightly tickling this area can prove extra sensitive. If you and your partner are up for it, some light nibbles or love bites can also help ramp up arousal.
Susan Kaye, PhD, a sexologist in Texas, says your hands are also a very important body part to focus on during foreplay. “Our hands have the same amount of nerve endings as our genitals,” she adds. She suggests closing your partner’s eyes, taking their hands, and slowly guiding them to brush your face with their fingertips, down over your neck, your shoulders, your breasts, and to any other sensitive spots. Use touch to show them exactly how you like to be touched.
The pubic bone
According to Genevieve Duarte, a tantric massage expert at White Lotus East in New York City, the start to a truly arousing tantric massage lies with stimulating the surrounding areas of your partner’s body before going straight for the genitals and orgasm. Duarte previously explained that gently massaging the pubic bone can unlock lots of erotic potential. If you’re ready to work in more erogenous zone stimulation, you can go for lightly massaging the perineum—the area between the penis and butthole—with a couple fingers. Duarte suggests holding his penis upward against his body in place while you try this one.
The ultra-sensitive border around the lips
The buccal nerve, which surrounds the edges of the mouth, has untapped potential to stimulate when you’re kissing. “This area is extremely sensitive to touch, but it’s often overlooked since most people focus on the plump part of the lips,” says clinical sexologist Rachael Ross, MD, PhD. If you try lightly tracing the tip of your finger around the edges of your mouth (like you’re putting on lip liner), you’ll experience a tingly, almost ticklish feeling.
When you’re making out, you don’t need to lick around his entire mouth to get the benefits—that would be weird. Instead, kiss your partner as you normally do, then use the tip of your tongue to trace the edge of his upper lip lightly. Pull back and playfully kiss him again, then trace the border of his bottom lip.
Patti Britton, PhD, Los Angeles–based clinical sexologist and author of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Sensual Massage, previously explained the value of nipple play. This goes doubly so for men, because according to Britton, “their nipples are uncharted territory—an erogenous zone they haven’t experimented with.”
What’s more, you can show him exactly what you like done to your bod by acting it out on him. Gently flick them with your tongue, bite them, stroke them, whatever gets those nips a-poppin’.
That sexy dip where neck meets chest
The entire area between your jawline and shoulders is an erogenous zone, but there’s one particular destination that’ll spark more goose bumps than any other part. “It’s that little indentation where the neck connects with the collarbone,” says Leah Millheiser, MD, director of female sexual medicine at Stanford Medical Center. “The skin is thinner there and there’s not as much fatty tissue underneath, so the sensations are stronger.” In other words, touching this area feels damn good.
As you kiss down his or her neck, trail the tips of your index and middle fingers from one shoulder to the dip in the center, lingering to swirl your fingers in a slow, circular motion. Then move your mouth over the spot and kiss it, using your breath to warm the area.
The sides of the torso
Snaking from the bottom of the rib cage to the hips is a powerful nerve that, when stimulated, connects directly to your clitoris and your partner’s penis. “When you touch this area, it reflexively causes the pelvic-floor muscles to contract in both men and women, which increases arousal,” says Dr. Ross.
You’ll want to use a firmer touch here, since it’s more ticklish than other spots. Start on one side, just underneath the rib cage, and either stroke the area with your hand or alternate between kissing (apply more pressure than usual with your lips) and lightly nibbling your way down to the hip bone.
That mound on the lower back
The knob at the base of the spine is rife with nerves and therefore arousal potential. To take advantage, give each other a massage.
Start at the shoulder blades and work your hands down in a kneading motion. At the lower back, switch to a softer touch, and lightly spiral your fingers over the base. “This area is so receptive, just the softest touch will send chills throughout the body,” says Dr. Ross.
You can also lightly graze your cheek against the area—the unexpected skin on skin sparks
an increase in the excitement hormone dopamine. Then softly kiss and trace your tongue along the same spot (just make sure he’s shaved before he tries this on you). Try brushing the tips of your hair against the skin and then switch to raking your fingernails gently across it to deepen the sensation.
The trail on the thighs
One of the most explosive nerves in the body is located at the top of the inner thigh. “It’s called the ilioinguinal nerve, and it’s incredibly sensitive to touch,” says Millheiser.
In fact, it’s best to save it for last and work your way up to it. Start by licking your finger (the wetness increases the stimulation) and slowly drawing it from the mid–inner thigh to the top. Then follow the path you just traced with your tongue, teasing your way to the upper region.