As the holiday season approaches, most of us aren’t craving another sweater, a new bag or the ultimate collectible. Instead, we tend to crave specific feelings including the desire to feel seen, desired and cared for in meaningful ways.
So, this year, consider giving less and feeling more. Rather than caving into the pressure to perform, consider gifts that inspire curiosity, presence and shared pleasure that will hopefully linger long after the holidays end. Because the best gifts don’t create clutter, they create connection. And while you can’t wrap up your time, touch or attention, you can gift each of these pleasures generously and in doing so, give the kind of pleasure that lasts.
Whether you’re browsing online or scrolling through socials, it’s likely that your feed is overflowing with must-have lists including those that promise instant intimacy. And while tools, tech and accoutrements can certainly offer a good reminder to invest in your connection and pleasure, they’re not the only way to enhance these feelings. Gifts that truly deepen connection tend to communicate attunement and make others feel understood, accepted, safe and desired. Relationship research suggests that these feelings are good predictors of relationship satisfaction, and we can’t say the same for any product you can wrap up with a bow. And when the focus shifts from impressing to understanding, intimacy naturally follows.
The bottom line: pleasure thrives when pressure fades.
And so, we begin with what is becoming the rarest of gifts, presence. In a world of distractions, being in the moment with yourself and your loved one(s) costs nothing but is among the most priceless of gifts.
Try gifting presence in one of these simple, personal ways:
Wrap up your distractions. Find a small box, wrap it in beautiful paper, and label it “The Here and Now Box” or “The Undivided Attention Box”. Lock your devices away for the night. The moment you set them aside, you’ve already given the gift of attention, which is far rarer than anything you could buy. Use your tech-free time to chat, laugh, snuggle or share a massage.
Gift a ritual they’ll look forward to. Slip a handwritten card into your partner’s stocking (or briefcase) that reads “Let’s make this our thing.” Get started before the year ends to create a regular ritual for 2026 -- it may be a Sunday morning coffee, a shared bubble bath, an evening walk, a weekly love note exchange or a monthly spa date. The ritual becomes the gift, as it creates a rhythm of connection that lasts long after the holidays. And couples who create rituals benefit from happier relationships and stronger commitment. Deliver a lazy morning. Craft your own personalized card with the text “One Slow Morning Together”. Promise coffee in bed, warm sheets, and no alarms. This gift costs nothing but time and it feels like luxury. (And if your partner usually gets up with the kids, switch it up to “One Slow Morning Alone” and make sure you deliver.)
Rewrap an old memory. Go old school and print a photo from a favorite shared moment, tuck it into a nice frame, and write: “Let’s recreate this.” And then carve out the time, energy and resources to make it happen. The best memories aren’t frozen in time; they’re invitations to reconnect. Each of these gifts invites your partner to slow down with you and really tune in to attention, curiosity, and care without distraction. Over time, these small moments become the foundation for trust, safety, and pleasure.
Once you’ve laid the foundation of presence and mindfulness in your everyday lives, you can turn your thoughts to gifts of pleasure. Pleasure is often framed as something spontaneous or indulgent, but it can also be intentional, generous, and deeply connective. When you gift pleasure, you’re really gifting permission to feel, relax, explore and enjoy your body and your partner’s without expectation or performance. Pleasure can look playful, tender, or even quiet. It can start with a slow kiss in the kitchen, a shared bath, or a promise to rediscover each other’s favorite sensations. It might involve touch, scent, sound, or fantasy. What matters most is that it’s approached with curiosity, care, and openness.
Consider gifting pleasure in one of these ways:
Wrap a massage kit with a bottle of massage oil, a luxurious towel and a handwritten note: “Redeemable for one full-body massage. No strings attached.” The act of offering touch as a gift builds safety, comfort, and confidence. And it’s the perfect respite from the busyness of the holiday season. Gift a shared fantasy night. Print out a blank list so that you can each write down three fantasies. They might be romantic, sensual or adventurous. Set time aside to swap lists and circle one you’re willing to talk about. This “gift” creates a playful way to communicate curiosity, passion and desire. Offer an evening of ease. Let your partner know they don’t have to do a thing. You’ll plan, lead, and guide. Whether it ends in laughter, stillness, or sex, the gift is the freedom to simply receive.
Create a pleasure playlist. Curate a list that puts you both at ease and inspires you to move. Dance, snuggle, grind, sway and whine to your hearts’ delight. Include a note, “Press play and let’s see where it leads.”
Cook (or order in) their favourite meal. Plan a quiet meal together (sans kids, if possible -- you can always let them eat in front of their screens for one night to give yourself a little peace). Dining together is associated with higher relationship happiness and greater emotional connection. It may seem simple, but it’s the little things that add up when you’re busy, distracted, or stretched thin. These gifts remind your partner that pleasure isn’t an outcome, but an ongoing dialogue. And while presence and pleasure make for meaningful and connective gifts, another important element of passionate relationships is…play. Playfulness can absolutely be lighthearted and fun(!), but it’s also serious relationship glue. Couples who play together don’t just stay together -- they thrive because play sparks laughter, curiosity and connection. It strengthens emotional safety, softens conflict, and brings novelty into even the most familiar partnerships. The best part about play is that it doesn’t usually require much planning. You don’t need props or costumes (but if you’re into role play, check this out!), but simply a willingness to let your guard down and have FUN.
Consider gifting play with these ideas:
Play with couples’ challenges from socials. Pick a viral trend, dance, or cooking challenge and tackle it together. Whether you nail it or fail it, laughter is the real prize. Wrap up a laughter kit. Box up some popcorn, a cozy blanket and a movie (a note card indicating the movie title will do if you’ll be watching online) as a reminder that joy can also be sexy. Create and gift a play deck. Write down all the ways you played when you were younger on cue cards: build a fort, watch the sunset, have a pillow fight, dance in the kitchen, draw/trace each other, stargaze, tell ghost stories, finger-pain, sleep in the living room in front of the TV, play tag in the park, or make up a secret handshake.
Stack the cards and wrap them in ribbon. Each card becomes an invitation and a reminder that joy, curiosity, and silliness are still love languages worth speaking. It’s easy to forget how fun and playful we used to be and when you give the gift of play, you’re offering a reminder that joy, silliness and desire can coexist. A wealth of studies link playfulness to stronger connection, communication and more satisfying sex.
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When you strip away the wrapping paper and the pressure to perform, what’s left are the moments that make love feel alive in presence, pleasure, and play. These are the gifts that deepen connection and invite joy long after the holidays end.
From all of us at ASTROGLIDE, happy holidays and all the best for a prosperous and pleasurable new year!