How to remove friction from pleasure and intimacy during and after pregnancy.
Pregnant sex. It’s one of of those things we’re starting to talk about a little bit more (finally).
Chances are, as a result, (whether you’re expecting or not) you’ve already asked yourself the questions of how pregnant sex works, whether it will hurt, if it can harm the baby and if there are any specific times when you really should not even play with trying it.
But what about when it comes to self pleasure?
Naturally, every pregnancy is different, and so self pleasure – what feels good, comfortable and enjoyable – will come down to you as an individual (if you actually want to do it, that is). Though, fun fact: it’s not uncommon for a woman’s sex drive to actually increase at certain stages of the pregnancy. Win.
To debunk the many myths surrounding pregnant self pleasure, we spoke to ex expert Tamica Wilder (aka @theorgasmicmama).
Can you still indulge in self pleasure while pregnant?
Absolutely and I’d encourage expecting mums to indulge! Masturbation is an incredible stress reliever, which makes it a great way to navigate all those pregnancy hormones, encourage relaxation and boost your mood.
Is there anything you can’t do?
In most cases, masturbating during pregnancy is perfectly safe. Although, it’s always smart to get the green light from your practitioner first, just to ensure you don’t have any complications.
I often hear people ask if their baby will be aware they’re masturbating or whether they’ll be bumped by sex toys inside of the vagina. I can assure you, this isn’t not how our anatomy works! And, contrary to myths, while orgasms can cause your uterus to contract, it won’t trigger labour. Not unless your practitioner says you’re at high risk for premature labour or have a problem with the placenta.
Are you more sensitive during pregnancy?
Increased blood flow in the pelvic region can lead to heightened pleasure in some people. This and the increase in vaginal fluids can actually make masturbation even more pleasurable!
Others though may experience discomfort. Breasts, for example, become more tender during pregnancy and some people experience abdominal cramping during or after masturbation. All of these experiences are normal – you may just need to take some time to change up the intensity of your usual self-pleasure techniques.
What are some tips/techniques you recommend?
Masturbation is a great way to unwind and enjoy yourself without having to put in much effort. But with all the changes that come with growing a bub, some women find that doing it while pregnant isn’t always easy.
If you’re finding that your usual, tried and tested masturbation techniques aren’t quite doing it for you – here’s some ideas for you to try:
1. Use a sex toy
Let your little battery operated friend do some of the work for you. Not only are most sex toys safe to use while pregnant, your trusty vibrator can also provide a milder alternative to heavy thrusting from your partner.
2. Keep em’ clean
Make sure you keep your sex toys thoroughly cleaned and sanitised. Wash your toys with warm soapy water, or even invest in a quality toy cleaner from a trusted intimacy brand such as drip. Their toy cleaner is antibacterial, includes natural ingredients, and is latex toy safe. Also make sure to store your toys in a clean place so you don’t undo your hard work!
3. Lube is your best friend
It’s totally normal to experience vaginal dryness while pregnant, so you might want to pick up a little bottle of liquid gold – lube. Keeping yourself well lubricated can also make your genitals more sensitive, so investing in a good quality natural lube will make your alone time even more worthwhile.
drip has recently launched a range of locally-made natural products including a water-based lube and oil-based lube to help ‘reduce friction’ when it comes to that all important self pleasure and they’re both totally safe for expecting mums:
• Water-based lube: a non-sticky and both taste and smell-free so you can focus entirely on the moment at hand. Suitable for sensitive skin, it’s as versatile as you are.
• Oil-based lube: Certified organic with all the benefits of coconut oil but liquefied for easy use and lubrication. It can be used for massage, play and even as a moisturiser.
4. Switch positions
As your bump grows, you may be required to explore some new positions as you’ll want to avoid lying flat on your back from around the 20 weeks mark. Don’t be afraid to experiment – try laying on your side, bending over the bed, getting up on all fours, or maybe give the shower a go. Try taking the focus off genital touch and spread awareness to parts of your body you might usually forget. Hips, neck, breasts, thighs – you might even find some pleasure zones you never knew you had!
5. Set the mood
Some people feel really sexy during pregnancy. But it’s completely normal not to. In fact, many pregnant people experience a decreased libido. Fluctuations in sexual desire are completely normal. If you’re feeling lacklustre, try setting the mood. Light your favourite candles, read some erotica, don your favourite lingerie, or put on a sensual playlist. Remember to go slow and try to let go of any expectations around orgasm and performance.
Is it beneficial during pregnancy?
Yes! A lot goes on in our bodies and minds during pregnancy – shout out to morning sickness, fatigue, heartburn, anxiety, insomnia, the list goes on. Masturbating while pregnant has been proven time and time again to reduce anxiety, increase relaxation, boost intimacy through mutual masterbuation, improve sleep and more.
Masturbation is one of the best things we can do to nourish ourselves and stay connected to our beautifully changing bodies. I certainly encourage anyone who is pregnant to continue to explore, have fun and find ways to reap the benefits self-pleasure can offer.