Oral sex is sex.
It’s not an alternative. It’s not “sex-lite.” It need not be relegated to foreplay. For many of us, oral sex is the main event and ultimate indulgence.
If you’re looking to up your oral game, check out these tips including some very specific techniques below.
Use your hands and be generous with lube. Anything you can do with your mouth and tongue, you can do with your hands — with greater flexibility and dexterity.
- Trickle your fingertips against their taint (AKA perineum) while you’re going down on them.
- Cup their balls or butt cheeks in your palms.
- Use your lubed-up hands as an extension of your mouth during a blow job.
- “Lick” all around their vulva with a lubed up fingertip to simulate a second tongue.
- Slide a wet finger inside while you play with your tongue on the outside.
- Explore their skin with your palms and fingertips while you lick, suck and kiss between their legs. Allow your hands to wander so that the pleasure spreads all across their body.
Ooze enthusiasm. Let them know how much you love it with your words, sounds, and movements.
- Exhale deeply.
- Let your sounds emanate without inhibition. Suck. Slurp. Lick. Don’t hold back.
- Get yourself all riled up while you down on them. Fantasize. Touch yourself. Wear a vibrating toy.
- Do whatever it takes to get yourself turned on and enthusiasm will flow naturally.
Start slowly and build anticipation. Don’t go straight for the goods!
- Tease around their thighs for 60 seconds.
- Breathe over their abdomen for six slow breaths.
- Touch with featherlight touch for at least a minute through their clothing. Blindfold them so that they don’t know what to expect.
- Use your breath to awaken every nerve ending from their underarms to their hip bones. Lick your lips and breathe gentle kisses over their skin — across their collarbone, over their chest, and down their sides before exploring their treasure trail.
- Take your time to make them ache for it so that by the time your lips meet their hottest spots, they’re shaking with desire and pleasure.
- If you tend to rush, play music, and wait for a song or two to finish before diving in between their legs.
Play with toys:
- If they have a penis, consider a vibrating penis ring during a blow job or press a vibrating vibe just behind the balls against the “million-dollar mark” (AKA the spongy tissue of the inner penis).
- If they have a clitoris, press a bullet vibe against the top of the vulva while you kiss, suck, swirl and eat away down below.
- If they like more subtle sensations, press a vibe against your cheeks as you go down on them so that they enjoy corollary vibes.
- And be sure to add a toy-friendly lube like Astroglide into the mix as you vibe away.
Try these techniques for penises:
- Slide your mouth over the head and stick your tongue out to cradle the underside of the penis. As you suck, swipe your tongue from side to side against the sensitive frenulum (this is the notch of skin that connects the foreskin, but the notch is present even if the foreskin has been removed).
- As you slide your mouth deeper down the shaft, swallow in an exaggerated way so that your throat contracts around them.
- Once they’re close to orgasm, squeeze two hands around the base to pulse 1-2 times per second as you suck in rhythm with your lips.
- Try the S-L-O-W job. Gently slide your lips down their shaft as slowly as possible and then suck up with a tight grip equally slowly.
Size and erection are not relevant to the above techniques, so you can try them on any penis at all!
Try these techniques for clitorises:
- Sensually slide your fingers up and down between the labia while your lick up and down the muddle using a wide, flat tongue.
- Trace your fingertip or tongue all around the head of the clitoris before sucking it right between your lips.
- Get your (lubed up) nose in there and give them something to grind against! Rock your head from side to side. Nod up and down. Roll all around. Let your nose slide right inside as you suck and lick all around.
- Open your mouth wide all around their lips. Suck as you roll your tongue against the perimeter of your lips paying extra attention to the head of the clitoris at the top and the fourchette (where the lips meet at the bottom).
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And of course, explore the most important oral sex technique — ongoing communication. Ask them what they like in terms of speed, pressure, rhythm, movement, approach, and more. Keep an open mind and explore with curiosity regardless of how oral sex fits into your sexual repertoire.