It’s shocking how often I receive letters from readers and clients about a need to pee during sex. It can be pretty alarming: One second you’re enjoying sexual play and all of the sudden, you need to urinate. It's uncomfortable and can even cause enough inhibition to stop an orgasm in its tracks.
I’ve even personally needed to take breaks during sex because I suddenly need to urinate.
So BRIDES asked two doctors for their takes on whether this is normal and when to know it’s not.
The urethra and vagina are super close to one another.
If you’ve ever experienced a sense of urgency during sex, it’s likely because your vagina and urethra are located right next to one another. If you take a hand mirror and look at your vulva, you'll see that the urethral opening and vaginal opening are only an inch or so apart. (This distance will vary from woman to woman.) Because of this, wires can get crossed in sensations.
“It is very common to feel like one needs to pee during sex and/or orgasm. This is partly due to the bladder and urethra’s proximity to the vaginal canal,” explains Rachel Gelman, PT, DPT, a physical therapist and expert with INTIMINA. “Penetration can lead to pressure on those structures which lead to the sensation of urinary urgency.”
Angela Jones, Astroglide’s resident sexual health advisor explains that while the proximity of the bladder to the vagina can cause pressure, it could also have to do with the position you’re in during intercourse or penetration. “You might notice this sensation more with some positional than others,” she says.
The G-spot could play a part in this business.
When you’re experiencing G-spot touching, whether it’s with fingers, a toy, or a penis, you really may feel like you need to wee.
Weirdly enough, Jones says that this feeling of urgency might indicate an orgasm is on its way.
“With penetration/stimulation of the G-spot the tissues/glands surrounding the urethra can become engorged with fluid, eventually leading to female ejaculation or squirting,” Jones tells
Gelman explains that the spongy tissue surrounding the urethra can play a role in sexual function. “Some people describe this tissue as the female ‘prostate.’ Stimulation of this area can lead to orgasm, but since the urethra will also be stimulated it makes sense why someone may feel like they are going to pee,” she says.
When it’s not normal.
While an urgency to pee during sex is often normal, there are times when it could indicate a larger health concern. For instance, it can be a sign of abnormal pelvic floor function.
“The pelvic floor muscles support the pelvic organs, including the bladder, colon and uterus or prostate,” Gelman says. “Due to the close relationship between the bladder and these muscles, if the pelvic floor muscles are hypertonic (tight) or in spasm the brain may misinterpret muscle tension as a signal from the bladder that it's time to pee. Sometimes a person can benefit from working with a specialist to determine if pelvic floor dysfunction is contributing and determine what treatment is needed.”
If you find that an urgency to urinate is a frequent occurrence for you, it would be a good idea to see a doctor and make sure everything is functioning normally. A physical therapist may also suggest doing Kegels to strengthen the pelvic floor. And luckily, we have a guide right here!
Another thing you can do to help with urgency during sex is to pee before AND afterwards. Peeing before can help to alleviate some of the pressure that comes with a full bladder, and urinating after will keep urinary tract infections at bay. Lastly, get yourself some lube. Friction during sex may also be a culprit.