Regardless of whether you’re giving a blowjob as foreplay or performing oral sex as the main act, you’re probably hoping your partner enjoys it as much as possible. While there are a few ways to get blowjobs wrong (whatever you do, don’t bite), there are a lot more ways to get it really, really right and help your partner reach a delightfully intense orgasm. But you aren’t alone if trying to make sense of a whole ocean of good blowjob tips feels daunting and takes the sexiness right out of it.
To make sure you can confidently pleasure your partner to the best of your ability, POPSUGAR spoke with a few experts on how to give good blowjobs so they’re supremely enjoyable for everyone involved. The most important thing to keep in mind? There’s no one right way to do it. Rather, the easiest way to give good blowjobs is to stay in tune with your partner: communicate, listen, and feel how their body reacts. Keep reading to get a full rundown on mind-blowing blowjob tips, and get ready for some serious compliments.
1. Tease Your Partner Before Diving Into a Blowjob
Because you don’t want to do too much too quickly, think of teasing as being foreplay for foreplay. “Beginning with the hottest move makes it difficult to build toward a crescendo and maintain the excitement and endurance needed to reach climax,” Jess O’Reilly, PhD, resident sexologist for Astroglide, tells POPSUGAR. “First, rile [your partner] into a frenzy with a feather-light touch, teasing licks, wet kisses, shallow sucks, and heavy breathing.”
Kristen Mark, PhD, sex and relationship researcher, educator, therapist, and contributing expert for the sexual wellness app Coral, echoed this idea of taking blowjobs slow. “Once [their] arousal is heightened, slowly take [them] into your mouth and use your hand to provide pressure on the shaft,” she says.
And remember to watch out for those teeth. “For the first touch on [a partner with a penis], keep in mind that the head or tip of the penis is extremely sensitive for most,” Britney Blair, PsyD, board-certified in sexual medicine, and cofounder and chief science officer of sexual wellness app Lover, explains. “Soft tongues and wet lips feel much better.”
2. Enhance the Feeling of a Blowjob by Using Your Hands
While both “oral sex” and “blowjob” sound like a mouth-focused activity, the experts agree that your hands play a crucial role. “Your mouth and tongue provide wet and warmth, but your hands provide tightness and rhythm,” says Jill McDevitt, PhD, MEd, licensed sex therapist and resident sexologist for CalExotics. To use your hands during a blowjob, O’Reilly recommends using your fingers on the outside of your lips, squeezing them together as you suck. “Your jaw will get a break, and you’ll create an extra-tight squeeze that will make [their] toes curl,” she explained.
Another option, she adds, is to “create a ring around the base of the penis or use two hands to create a tight band around the base and both testes.” Mark also suggests making sure you don’t ignore the shaft. “Think about your hand and your mouth as two tools working together, but separately, for ultimate pleasure,” she says. “Create one sensation with your hands, like a gentle twisting on the shaft, and another with your mouth, like a more intense sucking motion on the glans of the penis.”
3. Don’t Be Afraid to Switch Up Your Blowjob Technique
There’s no “right” way to give a blowjob. Everyone has different preferences and pleasure points, so get creative, listen, and experiment to find what works best for your partner. “Most blowjobs involve placing the tongue against the underside of the penis as you suck,” O’Reilly says. “But the underside of the tongue offers a soft, gentle texture worth exploring.” She recommends alternating between shallow sucks with the underside of your tongue on the upper side of the penis and deeper swallows the traditional way.
Blair suggests trying long licks up the shaft, gentle kisses with only your lips, or circling your tongue around the tip of the penis. “You could even stroke the shaft of the penis while licking the head or fondling the testicles,” she explains. To really kick things up a notch, McDevitt recommends even holding a small vibrator on your cheek or under your chin so your partner can feel the vibration during the blowjob.
4. Expand Your Reach by Involving the Testicles and the Perineum
Remember, the penis doesn’t have to be the only part involved in a blowjob. “Using your mouth on the testicles and moving down to the perineum (which is the area between the testicles and the anus) is often just as pleasurable for many guys as stimulating the penis,” Blair says.
O’Reilly recommends using two fingers or a toy to press into the area. “Increase the pressure as [their] arousal intensifies and stroke firmly back and forth (a tiny movement will do) in rhythm with your sucking,” she said. While this area may be uncharted territory for you or your partner, it’s worth exploring.
5. Have Fun With Your Blowjob Technique
The more you enjoy it, the more they’ll enjoy it. “The best tip I can give you is learn to love it,” Blair says. “People who enjoy going down on their lover seem to be the most skilled at delivering pleasure to their partners.” That said, this kind of blowjob confidence doesn’t always happen overnight. If you’re feeling insecure, talk to your partner ahead of time about what they like and don’t like. Then, find a comfortable position, take a deep breath, and enjoy the power in pleasing your partner with oral.