How Do I Cure Female Dryness?
By: Jacqui Olliver, End The Problem
Feminine dryness affects women of all ages. Not only does vaginal dryness cause a great deal of pain and discomfort during sex, the resulting effect on a woman’s libido can really damage her relationship. In this article I recommend the best natural cures for female dryness and how to naturally flush the inside of the vagina with my breakthrough Inner Vaginal Flush Technique.
Whether experiencing vaginal dryness due to menopause or as a much younger woman, there is benefit in understanding female dryness and how to become in charge of naturally lubricating her vagina.
Vaginal Dryness and Pain: Why Am I So Tight and Dry?
Many years ago I treated a marriage counsellor in her late thirties who was facing a somewhat unusual dilemma. She was experiencing vaginal dryness and pain and wondered why she was feeling so tight and dry. Sometimes penetration would cause bleeding.
She explained that once her husband had penetrated and she got going she would eventually become moist, loosen up and be able to reach orgasm. However, the pain of penetration was lowering her libido and putting her off sex.
I had to ask the obvious question: “What size is your partner’s member?”
She admitted he was very large, over 8” long with a thick girth.
Many women would see that coming toward them and start running for the hills! After all, how could something so big fit in such a small hole?
Because this therapist would automatically tense at the thought of her husband penetrating her, the muscles surrounding her vagina would contract, therefore making her vagina tighter and more difficult to penetrate.
With her whole physiology in “fight or flight” mode, she wasn’t stimulating the necessary hormones or natural lubrication to enable penetration to be easier.
When a person is mentally or emotionally tense, their body follows suit. This means that sexually, when a person is expecting pain, they will trigger stress hormones instead of sex hormones! This will often exacerbate a vaginal dryness and tightness issue and make sex more uncomfortable.
Vaginal Dryness in Young Women
Vaginal dryness doesn’t just affect peri and post menopausal women. I recently treated a young woman for Vaginismus. This is a condition in which involuntary muscle contraction prevents vaginal penetration. She was only 23 when she found me, her vagina was very tight and dry and penetration from her boyfriend was impossible.
Andrea (not her real name) had been to many doctors and specialists for treatment. She had received all manner of hormonal therapies and treatments for vaginal dryness and to stop the involuntary contractions, but nothing thus far had worked. She told me I was her last hope.
I treat the "root cause" of sexual problems which is frequently caused by focusing on the wrong action at the wrong time. Treating this cause can naturally provide a cure.
In this instance, we started with an opening and pushing exercise that would give her vaginal pleasure instead of the constriction and pain she was so familiar with. This had the natural effect of lubricating and opening her vagina.
As she started to embrace the fact that she would be able to experience pleasure in that part of her anatomy, she began to relax mentally and feel more receptive to experiencing a new reality during sexual intercourse.
I also taught her how to focus her attention on her partner in a way that would further relax her body. By focusing on tracing the muscles on his back with her hands and feeling into him, she took the focus off penetration.
Whereas previously she had been focused on the expectation of pain which was causing further constriction, she now feels freely able to open herself up to receive her partner’s advances.
By working with her biology instead of against it, she was able to get rid of the vaginal dryness and tightness issue and restore a happy and satisfying sex life.
Feminine Dryness Menopause
There’s nothing quite like hitting your early forties and for the first time experiencing feminine dryness associated with perimenopause. Oh my gosh! The first time it happened to me, I was shocked to my core.
Even if a woman has previously felt naturally lubricated internally prior to entering menopause, her usual choice of external personal lubricant may no longer have the desired effect of lubricating her vagina effectively.
Penetration can feel like the whole inside of the inner vagina is being rubbed raw with sandpaper.
Feminine dryness at menopause can quite literally put a damper on a woman's desire for sex… and will often (pardon the pun) put men...on… pause. Menopause feminine dryness is believed to be caused by a drop in estrogen levels which causes the vaginal tissues to become thinner, drier and less flexible.
Over 50% of women are unlucky enough to experience vaginal dryness at menopause. It generally doesn’t go away due to being a result of changes in the vagina.
However, a woman can make healthy changes to her vagina. Even after 40.
It’s important for a woman to understand how to naturally restore health, lubrication and vitality to her vagina as she ages. Otherwise vaginal dryness can affect her libido and sex life (and if she’s in a relationship this will likely lead to other relationship strife!)
Vaginal Dryness During Sex
Women who experience vaginal dryness during sex, also tend to experience a mental contamination issue known as a wandering mind. Random thoughts during sex which are unrelated to the sexual act will cancel out the flow of sex hormones which can result in her vagina becoming dry. This unwanted distraction will also prevent her from reaching orgasm.
Thoughts of a partner’s unsatisfactory technique or his own sexual function issue will often play a role here. Focusing on the wrong thing at the wrong time is generally responsible for sexual dysfunction in males and females. This is what I correct in my Sex Mastery programs for both sexes.
It’s important for a person to balance their sexual focus throughout all sexual activity to ensure they keep the sexual programs activated in their brain. This results in the right balance of hormones and muscle programs required to complete a mutually fulfilling sexual act.
What Can I Do for Feminine Dryness?
While correcting dietary intake is essential for maintaining health as a person ages, it’s not the only thing a woman can do to cure feminine dryness. Regardless of a woman's age, there are 4 essential steps to fixing an inner vaginal dryness issue:
- Dealing with emotions so her body doesn’t contract in preparation for fight or flight
- Relaxing her mind, so her body naturally opens and becomes more receptive
- Using an external personal lubricant to soothe the opening into her vagina
- Applying the Inner Vaginal Flush Technique to flush the inside walls of her vagina
Each of these steps works to bring her body and mind into balance so she can eliminate vaginal dryness and pain.
How to Create Natural Lubrication
Saliva is very quick to dry, which renders it ineffective as a personal lubricant. While coconut oil (which I explain below) acts as an effective and natural lubrication for the outside of the vagina, it is not sufficient to lubricate the inner walls of the vagina.
I discovered this as a result of my own experience with female dryness.
With no fast-working and effective vaginal dryness remedies available to deal with the dryness inside the vagina, I felt it was time to figure out an answer to end this feminine dilemma!
By combining my advanced knowledge in solving male and female sexual function problems with a healthy dose of logic, I soon came up with the best vaginal dryness natural remedy and cure, ever. No more vaginal dryness and pain during penetration and intercourse!
The Inner Vaginal Flush Technique I developed was so effective that it immediately restored enjoyable sex for myself and my partner. Since then, it has become the go-to method to treat vaginal dryness in women of all ages, even in their seventies!
The Inner Vaginal Flush Technique
Similar to the flush mechanism in a toilet, the Inner Vaginal Flush Technique immediately flushes the inner walls of the vagina to provide natural lubrication. No expensive hormonal treatments or vaginal dryness medications required. A woman can flush as often as she likes, with each subsequent “flush” providing further natural lubrication.
What’s really interesting is that I booked an appointment with a medical professional as soon as I started experiencing female vaginal dryness to check for any medical issues. In the eight weeks leading up to the appointment, I regularly practiced the Inner Vaginal Flush Technique.
This led to an astonishing result...
Eight weeks later, when peering inside my vagina, the surprised medical professional proclaimed that I had the healthiest looking vagina she had ever seen! She could hardly believe that my vagina was 42 years old, she said it was healthier than most women in their 20’s.
It just goes to show that with the correct knowledge and technique most sexual dysfunction including inner vaginal dryness and pain can be remedied.
How to Apply the Inner Vaginal Flush Technique
The Inner Vaginal Flush requires a simple pushing down action. To apply the Inner Vaginal Flush Technique, a woman simply pushes down with her vagina as if she is blowing a bubble or expelling a tampon. This provides a flush of natural lubrication which immediately lubricates the inner walls of her vagina to stop vaginal pain.
Just prior to engaging in a sexual act a woman is to:
- Bring her awareness to her vagina
- Push down with her vagina as if she is blowing a bubble (or expelling a tampon)
- Repeat as desired
I recommend one push while she is undressing and two pushes as her partner approaches to penetrate her. Once her partner is inside her, she may initiate one more push to really get her natural lubrication flowing. This Inner Vaginal Flush Technique will also help a woman become more aware of enjoyable sensations during sex.
Note: How to enhance awareness of sensations and orgasm when she wants to is explained step-by-step in my Sex Mastery program for women: Enjoyable Sex and Orgasms.
Best Lubricant for Menopause Dryness
By far the best external lubricant for menopause dryness is Astroglide Naturally Derived personal lubricant or Astroglide Organix organic personal lubricant. Astroglide Organic Oil Coconut Oil personal lubricant is smooth to apply, and has the added benefit of softening the skin around the vagina which reduces irritation. It can also restore moisture, plumpness and elasticity to your skin.
To use lubrication, simply put a very small amount on your finger and trace a line around the outside entrance into the vagina. It’s important not to use too much coconut oil for lubrication because it will make it too slippery for a male partner to penetrate.
Too much oil reduces friction to the point where it can desensitise a man’s experience and cause him to lose his erection hardness.
Remember that a little Astroglide goes a long way and only a few drops are needed.
Natural Lubricant for Menopausal Dryness
Combining the Inner Vaginal Flush Technique with coconut oil is the best natural lubricant to combat dryness after menopause. This way a woman can restore health and vitality to the inside as well as outside of her vagina.
In my opinion, there is no question that this combination is the best personal lubricant after menopause. Along with correctly balancing sexual focus women can now restore a happy and rewarding sex life...
In addition to this, please keep in mind that thoughts and emotions play a pivotal role and can influence a woman’s ability to produce lubrication and become turned on for sex. As she ages, this becomes even more important, as without tuning her attention toward sex she can quite easily switch off her libido.
How Menopause Affects Relationships
It’s important to make sure any relationship issues are dealt with in a timely manner as a couple ages together. This includes inside and outside the bedroom. Menopause can be an exciting time as a woman must no longer deal with those pesky monthly bleeds or concerns about becoming pregnant (for the most part).
But it can also signal a time when she needs to be more vigilant about being in charge of her emotional state and choosing to focus on her partner’s more pleasing attributes. It can be easy to blame her emotions, anxiety and relationship stress on menopause when in fact she’s just not taking responsibility for the effects of her own thoughts and actions.
Every action has a consequence and refraining from engaging in sex will eventually cause an emotional divide between a woman and her partner. This is why it’s so important to apply the above steps which can provide the best natural cures for female dryness… because a woman is equally responsible for promoting and enhancing happiness and health in her relationship.
I'd love for you to share your thoughts and questions in the comments section below. Have you or a partner experienced vaginal dryness or lost interest in sex due to sexual function issues? How has it affected your relationship?
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Psychosexual Relationship Specialist at End the Problem, Jacqui Olliver is a published author who renews relationships by solving people's emotional and sexual issues. In the past 8 years, she has helped over 2,000 men, women, and couples restore a relaxed, happy, and fulfilling sex life and enhance their overall connection. Click here to check out her programs or to book a complimentary strategy session for real answers to solve the real problems.
Relationships and menopause
Going through menopause can impact women in so many ways and symptoms can often be detrimental to relationships.
Many women and certainly many men, do not realise how this can be so I will explain a few reasons for this:
- Firstly, the changes in hormone levels that occur in our bodies during the perimenopause can often lead to mood swings and symptoms of anxiety and depression. Women can become very angry and irritable with the smallest of triggers, or even with no precipitants, which can often lead to them shouting unnecessarily at the nearest person – often their partner.
- Secondly, night sweats can be unbearable and alarmingly frequent. It can be common for women to have to change their bedclothes and the bed sheets at least once a night, often every night. Even if they don’t have to do this, they often describe the doona needing to be flipped back when they are hot, only for it to be pulled back by their freezing partner. So it is not just menopausal women who have disrupted nights’ sleep, their partners often do too.
- Thirdly, the changes in our hormones levels, especially our testosterone levels, can lead to levels of libido (sex drive) reducing. Women still love their partner but are no longer interested in sex – they purely “go through the motions” to please their partners
- Fourthly, vaginal dryness caused by menopause is another significant factor. Women notice they are dry at various times and not just during intimate moments. Women become conscious of this and often embarrassed. Further they are not sure when sex will be initiated and don't have time to apply lube before hand. Women need to discuss this with their partner and applying lube should be a normal part of foreplay.
- Lastly, low levels of oestrogen that occur can cause the tissues around your vagina to become thinner, dryer and inflamed. Your vagina may then shrink a little and expand less easily during sex making sexual intercourse more painful or uncomfortable. Your vulva (the external genitals; labia, clitoris and the entrance to your vagina), may become thin, dry and itchy. You may notice that your vulva or vagina has become red and sore. None of these changes are conducive to a healthy, active sex life.
On top of this, the overwhelming fatigue that many women experience, the loss of confidence, hot flushes and memory problems that can also occur really can have a negative effect on their relationships. This all sounds really depressing but it is so important to know that there are many treatments available to help with these symptoms. These treatments include:
- Talking about the menopause and knowing you are not alone.
- Taking hormone replacement therapy (HRT), even for a short time. There are many different types and doses of HRT available so it important to find one that suits you and is associated with low risks.
- Taking testosterone. This is usually given as a gel and taking it can improve libido in many women. It can also improve mood, energy and concentration.
- Using topical oestrogen (so using it as a gel, tablet or in a vaginal ring) can work really well for women with vaginal dryness. Using oestrogen in this way is not associated with the risks of HRT and can be used by most women, including some on treatment for breast cancer, very safely.
- Using vaginal lubricants and moisturisers. These can be used on their own or in conjunction with oestrogen.
Source: Yvonne Fulbright
President Of The Australasian Menopause Society, Dr Karen Magraith, joins Deborah Knight on 2GB Menopaue Podcast. Click Here
Astroglide Personal Lubricants are Vegan and always have been since we started over 40 years ago . #vegan #veganfriendly